Omertà at the Federal Reserve

 

MIAMI, FL – Leo Machuchal is trapped inside a Federal Reserve Bank in Dade County, Florida. 

They have frozen his lips, so that he cannot speak or start a Tea Party. 

It all started innocently enough when Leo printed up the Taíno three-dollar bill, as part of Puerto Rican History month.

Leo didn’t know this was a capital crime of the highest order. 

They accused him of being a G-2 Cuban spy, and he had to wear a disguise to buy his groceries.

Leo refuses to buy pork products

The Treasury Department caught Leo. 

They are holding him against his will at the Federal Reserve Bank of Miami, at 9100 Northwest 36th Street. 

They even built a special cryogenic chamber, to freeze his mouth for a few weeks.

How they chill out Leo

We urge you to storm the Miami Federal Reserve Bank, take all their money, and save Leo from the evil clutches of the international bankers. 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Leo for Washington Heights

 

NEW YORK, NY – Leo Machuchal has been asked to run for the New York State Assembly, representing Washington Heights. 

The people are fed up with the current politicians there. 

Leo has not decided to run yet, but already the press is hounding him. 

They want to know if Leo Machuchal is going to run!

The press hounding Leo

Leo’s opponents are clearly worried. 

The current Assemblyman Adriano Espaillat already called Leo, and is telling everyone that Leo is a drunk. 

Leo is not a drunk. He simply writes his speeches from an upside-down position.

Leo writes a speech

We wish Leo well…and we hope he does run for the State Assembly.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Mal Occhio at the Federal Reserve

 

MIAMI, FL - Leo Machuchal is trapped inside a Federal Reserve Bank in Dade County, Florida. 

It all started innocently enough, when Leo printed up a few bills for his personal use.

Leo didn’t know this was a capital crime of the highest order. 

Pretty soon he was accused of being a G-2 Cuban spy, and had to wear a disguise in order to buy his groceries.

Leo shops at 7-Eleven

The Treasury Department caught Leo. 

They are holding him against his will at the Federal Reserve Bank of Miami, at 9100 Northwest 36th Street. 

They even set up a special mal occhio security system, to monitor Leo’s every move.

Mal occhio at the Federal Reserve

We urge you to storm the Miami Federal Reserve Bank, take all their money, and save Leo from the evil clutches of the international bankers.      

Puerto Rican Guy

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Adriano Espaillat at Work

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC – Washington Heights is a hard-working neighborhood at the northern tip of Manhattan Island.

The people of Washington Heights elected Assemblyman Adriano Espaillat to help them get jobs, housing, and a better education for their children.

Espaillat dictates a memo

Unfortunately according to the New York State Board of Elections, Adriano Espaillat has stolen a lot of taxpayer and campaign money – hundreds of thousands of dollars – and put it into his pocket.

This includes $28,000 for his personal cell phone; $16,300 for luxury restaurants, $15,100 for hotels; $4,300 for bars and night clubs; $1,790 for flowers; $550 for liquor; and $14,048 for airfare and travel to Santo Domingo, Puerto Rico and other vacation resorts.

$83,000 went to The Mirram Group, but no one can figure out what they did for this money. $59,000 went to Metro Strategies, a company that does not exist.

Espaillat funneled $22,000 to his brother-in law, $2,325 to his son, and $2,400 to his girlfriend.

Espaillat dictates another memo

Assemblyman Adriano Espaillat has that loving feeling…especially for your wallet.

Puerto Rican Guy

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No Homo (for real)

 

CAGUAS, PR – Let’s get real here. Leo Machuchal is not a panty waist.

Certain rumors about Leo must stop immediately.

When he represents us as a synchronized swimmer…  

No Homo.

When he gets caught doing a bad thing in the bathroom…

No homo.

When he performs a Samoan fertility dance…

No homo.

When he bends over on the handball court…

No homo.

Leo is 100% man.

And that’s no homo.

Puerto Rican Guy

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