Caroline Kennedy for
U.S. Senate
To all the Little People,
Hello I am like, you know, Caroline Kennedy and I would like to um, be a U.S. Senator.
You know my dad was John F. Kennedy, who was only the like, coolest President who ever lived.
And you know, he left me a lot of money.
And you know, I still have $400 million of it and you know, I don’t have the faintest idea what to do with my life but you know, the U.S. Senate sounds like a pretty cool place to do it.
Did I tell you my father was John F. Kennedy?
Well, now you know.
Some people say “Caroline, you never even bothered to like, vote.”
Some people say I hired Knickerbocker SKD because I can’t um, talk.
Some people say “You know you’re not qualified for like, a big job like the um, U.S. Senate.”
Some people say I’m like, even less qualified than Sarah Palin.
But you know they’re just jealous, because you know a jealous person when you see one, you know?
By the way, did you know my father was John F. Kennedy?
You know it’s true, or I wouldn’t say it.
And like, I went to law school but never tried a case or represented anyone since you know I don’t need the money, but that doesn’t make me an um, dilettante, it makes me a Kennedy.
Oh by the way, did I tell you my father was President John F. Kennedy?
I know you know, but I just wanted you to know, you know?
Puerto Rican Guy.
PS:
F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The rich are different from you and me.”
Ernest Hemingway: “Yeah. They have more money
Tags: Caroline Kennedy, John F Kennedy. Scott Fitzgerald, Sarah Palin, U.S. Senate
Entries (RSS)