Posts Tagged “Albany”
           
No Government? No Problem.
ALBANY, NY – Unable to agree on a budget, the New York State Legislature may decide to shut down the entire state government this week.
This will be the first government shutdown in the history of New York State and will mean a suspension of unemployment benefits, food stamps, welfare and state payments, and the closure of the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), state parks, and other public offices.
According to Governor David Paterson, “there is nothing to worry about. We are sending packages of food and car batteries to every household with an income lower than $20,000.”
The Governor is correct. Two million packages of a Rice-a-Phoni have already been distributed in New York City.
800,000 car batteries have arrived in Buffalo, Yonkers, and Albany.
They also fit into your flashlight and your toaster.
Puerto Rican Guy
Tags: Albany, Budget, buffalo, car, closure, Department, DMV, flashlight, food, Government, Governor David Paterson, guy, History, household, Income, Legislature, Motor, New York, New York City, Nothing, NY, Phoni, Problem, Puerto, Rican, Rice-a, shutdown, State, suspension, toaster, Unemployment, week, welfare, Yonkers
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Sushigate
MAMARONECK, NY – New York State Senator Pedro Espada Jr. is under investigation for stealing $14 million from the Soundview Health Center in the South Bronx.
Particularly distressing is $20,000 in sushi which was charged to the Health Center, and delivered over 200 times to Espada’s house in Mamaroneck.
Caught eating sushi
Espada denies living in Mamaroneck or eating any sushi over the past ten years. The evidence suggests otherwise, with Espada’s name appearing on all the sushi receipts (over 200 of them).
Sushi meal #187
Espada continues to deny it however. “I am Puerto Rican…we don’t go for that fishy stuff,” he declared in an Albany press conference yesterday.
Espada denies eating any sushi
Espada is wrong here. The sooner he stops lying, the better off he’ll be.
In the meantime, the Puerto Rican Guy loves sushi, and will gladly accept delivery of Espada’s unwanted fish.
Puerto Rican Guy
Tags: Albany, Caught, Center, conference, evidence, fishy, guy, Health, House, investigation, MAMARONECK, meal, name, New York, NY, press, Puerto, Rican, Senator Pedro Espada Jr., Soundview, South Bronx, State, stuff, sushi, sushiEspada, Sushigate
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Adam Clayton Powell IV Announces his Campaign Platform (for the fourth time)
NYC, NY – Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV, now running for U. S. Congress, announced his campaign platform again – the fourth time this week.
Powell spoke to a crowd of eighteen people and one hot dog vendor at the corner of 116th street and Lexington Avenue.
As his staff yelled “Powell for the People!” the candidate unveiled his new, improved campaign platform.
Powell unveils his platform
Powell intends to lower the legal drinking age in the state of New York, from age 21 down to age 18.
Since he took a 19-year old legislative intern to his Albany hotel room and got her drunk, and since this intern accused him of raping her, this is a primary concern for Powell and his constituents.
Powell announced some other pieces of key legislation, that he will propose for us in the U.S. Congress. We will discuss those later.
Puerto Rican Guy
Tags: Adam Clayton Powell, age, Albany, Announces, Assemblyman, Campaign, Candidate, corner, crowd, dog, drinking, eighteen, guy, Intern, Lexington Avenue, New, NY, NYC, platform, staff, State, Street, Time, U. S. Congress, vendor, week, year, York
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Ass. Adam Clayton Powell IV
ALBANY, NY - New York State Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV is not known for his intellect or legislative output.
He has been accused of raping two women. One of them was a 19-year old legislative intern, whom he got drunk in his Albany hotel room.
He has been arrested for drunk driving.
His driver’s license has been suspended.
He is under investigation for converting $30,000 in campaign funds to his own personal use.
But Powell has reached a new low.
Last week in Albany, he truly made an ass out of himself.
Assemblyman Powell moons the Senior Citizens Council
Assemblyman Powell thought it would be amusing, to moon the Senior Citzens Council of Chappaqua Falls.
We respectfully disagree.
Puerto Rican Guy
Tags: Adam Clayton Powell, Albany, Ass, Assemblyman, Campaign, CouncilAssemblyman, driver, driving, guy, hotel, intellect, Intern, investigation, license, low, Moon, New York, NY, output, room, Senior, State, use, week, year
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Adam Clayton Powell IV
For
Congress!
EAST HARLEM, NY – Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV is fulfilling his date with destiny.
He is running for U. S. Congress despite being accused of raping two women…
Getting arrested for drunk driving…
Having his driver’s license suspended…
Not sponsoring a single piece of legislation in four years…
Having the fifth worst attendance record in Albany…
Appointing a multiple felon as his campaign finance chair…
And taking campaign contributions from Pinnacle Management, a notorious slumlord under Federal investigation.
It’s so ridiculous, all we can say is…
VOTE FOR ADAM!
Puerto Rican Guy
Tags: ADAM, Adam Clayton Powell, Albany, Appointing, Assemblyman, attendance, Campaign, chair, date, destiny, driver, driving, EAST, felon, finance, guy, Harlem, IVForCongress, Legislation, license, Management, NY, Piece, Pinnacle, record, U. S. Congress
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