Handshakes:

The Puerto Rican guy wants to restore confidence and integrity to our real estate industry.

It all starts with the handshake.

Since so many people refuse to read their contracts, bank loans, or home mortgage documents, we must establish some rules regarding handshake agreements.

The Puerto Rican guy has integrated these rules into the Uniform Commercial Code (UCC).

The rules will be binding in all 50 states.

So follow them.

1. The Fail-Safe 

Connect the web between your index finger and thumb firmly with the other person’s.

Pump two or three times.

This is confident and appropriate, particularly when your checks are good.

2. The Rubber Glove

While shaking hands, cover the other person’s hand with your left hand.

A favorite of politicians and clergy.

Use when begging for a “peak” at the RFP.

Mandatory on IRS field audits, during lunch, if twenty Mexicans swarm a taco truck.

 3. The Dead Fish

A limp handshake conveys weakness and complete lack of self-confidence.

Accompany with a vague gaze at the person’s forehead, and request their Zodiac sign.

Best used to confuse a reporter or stall a building inspector.

4. The Terminator

Turn the grip so your hand is on top - a sign of clear aggression.

Expose all your canines in a Lou Dobbs smile.

Use with every illegal alien, on every construction site.

5. The Maricón

Offer just your fingertips, and wiggle in their palm.

 Smile any way you choose.

 Best used to provoke a Teamster.

Puerto Rican Guy.